This life.

"you become a totally different person when you clock off, Kevin."

- Sekadarra Laurensen

I'm starting to think my 2 year break from this blog wasn't such a bad idea. Every so often, I would binge read past posts and it dawned on me that those posts were more about the people around me rather than what it was meant to be about: me. I'd bring up work and the people there, how I interacted with them and how they interacted with me, but really, none of that matters and no one really cares about that stuff, not even me, so it confused me as to why so much of the content back then was about shit that was more insignificant than the things that didn't matter. Maybe it was just my way of fattening up this sorry excuse of a blog, I guess I figured that if it had some variety, I could somehow deter the thoughts of those who read it but it's hard to get an answer from yourself 2 years ago, I discovered.

When I sign in to work, I do things with the most care and consideration I've ever done things before. I will plan out the most effective route and apply the most necessary man power to each task and do things better than anyone else is capable but when I sign out, I've been told that everything they saw before hand has been tossed out of the window :L My opinions become more brash and I say things that are on my mind with no further thought of possible repercussions. I didn't used to be like that. I remember it so clearly how optimistic I was in terms of working and helping others, even after I've been told to go home, that was how I ended up in the warehouse in the first place, I just got good at doing the shit no one else wanted to do, but the workplace has jaded me a little; a lot even. It's a lot safer to assume that there isn't one single decent human being with average morals and basic motor skills around you. It was the reason I stepped down from the manager position. It honestly amazes me how there are people who can trust other people whole-heartedly with a task despite knowing that their fuck up means your ass but I suppose it's only right that positions with high rewards only come with high risks, it's a shame that I can't bare to lose anything I have now, even if it means that I could accomplish my goals faster if I stuck my head out a little, but you know what they say "The nail that sticks out the most, gets hammered first." at least, that's how I see it.

 This Life - Denzel Curry