The Berlin wall.

"I think maybe we have to let go of the past sometimes, you know,
so we can hold on to our lives."

Woke up, went to volunteering at Acacia Ridge, disgusted some people, befriended others, got closer to those who wanted to and was given a jar of homemade peach jam from a wonderful 68 year old lady that goes by the name "Jan Nick" but I call her "Jam" because she makes Jam. Can't wait to buy some bread so I can try this jam out !

Hong Nguyen came to my house today. I don't think she's ever been to my house before. I get a lot of visitors so I tend to forget who's been where. She dropped off some Dash Berlin tickets and we spoke for awhile. She stalled when she drove off which gave me a good laugh. (Grats on getting your P's, bro) It's a shame she couldn't come with. I have the feeling that it would be just her cup of tea but hey, what can you do? 

Went to Family and saw Dash Berlin perform, I don't know what to say, it was quite literally astonishing. There was not a minute where the mix was dull. I just, man. I don't know. You had to be there.

Danced for like 5 hours straight, got to see familiar faces which is always good. Really wished I got that mix though, there aren't many 3 hour long mixes I would listen to over and over but goddamnit, Dash, you outdid yourself tonight. Went expecting good, left with gold.

We're family.

"It's impossible for all wishes to come true if you pray for them.
But if you think and put your best effort forth until the end, then the outcome can't be that bad."

Room porn is like, the second best type porn, second only to food porn, of course.
I have a bunch of ideas for my future home, I just hope I'll have the time, patience, money and determination to go through with the ideas. It's a shame I'm not into books or anything, that would've been a nice touch to what I have in mind.

I know I've said being alone is nice but hanging out with the people that are fond of you is a nice change of pace once in awhile. They possess the patience to deal with your shit and it's something I'm forever grateful for. I guess it comes naturally though but I can't help but wonder what they find burdening and I suppose they won't tell you because they feel like that is the right thing to do but I'd much rather an honest opinion than a masked one even if the outcome isn't what you thought it would be.

Reset.

Be fucking proud of who you are. Make you and your gratitude obvious.

I drove Jack Nguyen home, the first time I felt like I could drive my car confidently without killing anyone, even if it was in the middle of the night. There's a list of things I want to get done as soon as I get my P's, most of which are just things I feel need to be done according to my morals. hahahah see what I did there ? It's because the car I drive is an accord HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OH GOD, I DID THAT UNINTENTIONALLY AND AM CURRENTLY CRACKING UP AT MY OWN JOKE AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH fuck, I'm funny.

Great, now I forgot what I was going to type. aw dammit, worth it. Sleep deliciously, guys.

Edit 1: you can so tell that I got distracted by that masterpiece of a joke as soon as you read the first sentence, I hope future posts will be as spontaneous as this, they were pretty spontaneous to begin with :L

Reset (Thank you) - Hiroshi Yamaguchi

Dollars AND Dreams.

Dealing pot.

   I hate rain. I love the way rain looks. I love the way rain smells. I love the way the rain feels. Odd, innit ?

C&H

"We must be taught how to think, not what to think."

Pho weather, who am I kidding ? Pho weather is every weather. 

You really can't rely on anyone but yourself, after coming to this conclusion a few years back I started to realize that I hate people and yet, I like people who hate people. I don't generally go out and that's because I'm cool with the shit I have, here, at home. Alone time is just as (if not, more) important than time with others. When alone, there are no variables, whereas when you're with others, there's always that chance of things fucking up and I've come to notice that fuck ups are not as rare as they appear to be. I don't have high hopes in what I do, people, results and that's only because it's easier this way. I'm living life easy mode and that might not sit well with others but it's not like me to burden myself with the things I can avoid, unless it's something I feel like I want to do or should do but even then, it's still not much. People can be assholes but it's hard to pick out the ones that are and the ones that aren't, so I just assume that they're all assholes and expect nothing from them but lately I've been expecting the worse rather than expecting nothing, I swear, you can never expect what's just around the corner. I don't know man, I don't care anymore. It's not like I'm venting my problems or anything, this is just what I think about whenever I do think and that's pretty much only when I write these things late at night/early morning :L

I love my life, and if you're reading this, you should, too.

FAREASTONE

"Has being nice become so rare that it's now mistaken for flirting ?"

Holy shit on a fan; my little brother snores so loud. He snores so intensely that sometimes, he inhales too much air and starts coughing his brains out which everyone in the neighborhood can hear, I didn't even know something like that was even possible but apparently, I'm just as bad hahahahahaha. (someone please clarify this)

My sleeping patterns are officially fucked. I couldn't get to sleep due to the fact that I woke up at 6pm this morning so I went for a little drive around Inala and I couldn't help but to drive by the people I know and start to reminisce about good and bad times with those people. Rosemary, Fornax, Dorado, Poinciana, Skylark and many others, shit was therapeutic. Note that I do not currently own a driving permit so it was dope that I didn't get caught, then again, the chances of getting caught at like 2-4am are pretty slim. I have a feeling I'll be driving around aimlessly at night more often when I get my P's. vroom vroom.  

Feathers.

"The key to happiness is lowered expectations."
- Unknown.

It's like 3:40am man and the first thing I was blessed with when I got out of the shower was a little facebook message from old mate Jason Bui. I don't know why he started talking to me but now that I think about it a little, I don't care either. We summed up what we did in out time apart in a 10 minute online conversation, it was mostly about weed and cars, typical Jason. It got me thinking though, I wonder what would've happened to me if I was more involved with that clique, would I become delinquent throughout my adolescence and progress to bad habits, each worse than the one before ? I know it's pointless to think about these things but I really can't help but wonder. Maybe I'm overselling myself here :L It would be impossible to keep my attitude around people like that. Every time I see anyone of those guys it feels like I'm being looked down upon, as if I abandoned my family and it makes me feel... I don't know how it makes me feel; not good but not bad. It's probably hunger, yeah, let's go with hunger, I always feel better after I eat anywho.

Found some good doof doof today, albeit it's not much but my playlist is gonna hit dem triple digits son!

Feathers - Archie & Fareoh

Let's be excellent to eachother.

"life without music would just be a mistake."

I got a pimple on my ass and it hurts, a lot. It's not even a pimple yet, it's like a premature lump of stinging agony and I do not approve of such a thing being on my person let alone my left butt cheek. When I sit on the toilet, it's almost as if the rim of the seat is trying it's best to poke at it and when I sit down, it feels like the entire body weight is on a pin which is resting directly on the aforementioned lump of absolute bullshit. It's so cool that the worst of my problems is about a pimple on my arse, I'd much rather it be this than something like heartbreak or an assignment (yes, I did just lump the two in the same category, fuck you.) or something like that, makes me feel like a child and helps me forget that I'm fucking turning 19 this year but fuck the haters. Happy Meals all day, erry'day. 

It's getting so much harder to find music I like these days.. Everyone seems to have a significantly different preference when it comes to music so it really is something only you can do. Gimme gimme dat doof doof, moite.

PS. I'm hungry
PPS. I ate like 20 minutes ago
PPPS. It was bacon, scrambled eggs and toast
PPPPS. Yeah, I know. Bacon and eggs for dinner ?
PPPPPS. My nipples are hard.

Nipple. Squirrel. Ham.

"hahaha, enjoy the little things."

MY ROOM, IS SOOOOOO FUCKINGG CLEANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
I'd post a picture or something but I lack the technology to upload something worthwhile unfortunately, so I will wait til a later date where my resources will allow that much. There's something about a speckless sight that makes me giddy, I'm sure I've touched up on this on a previous post but it really is something I can't get over, shit be sparklin' n' shit. 

There is really (well, on the top of my head) nothing I can think about to type. Maybe I should ramble on about things that don't matter, then again, nothing matters in the long run. I could type about my day, about how I bumped into a mate's mother while I was volunteering and how I was mistaken for another person throughout an entire conversation and just to save her the shame, I played along, but such posts is not to my liking, rather, I feel posting about my day would be wasted effort as no one would really give a fuck but now that I think about it, I don't think they give a fuck about my thoughts either, so I'm probably fooling myself or subconsciously avoiding recording my daily life events for some unbeknownst reason but eventually, I'll run out of shit I like to type and resort to filing posts about my day. but let's hope that that doesn't happen in the near future. Luckily for me and unfortunately for you, I don't give a donkey's apple about others think so I'm just gonna do that thing I always do, when I remember what it is, I'll be sure to type it down in a later post :L 

Mufasa.

"Remember who you are."

I learnt two things today:
One is that whenever your parents (this really only applies to the mother) argue or lecture you, it is your obligation to shut the fuck up and nod politely. I was taught this by my older brother who has seemed to have done this his entire life, something I really admire because it takes so much willpower to stay wrong even if you think you're in the right. There are ways around it though. I was having dinner with my mum at her house and as we finished up mumsies asked me to clean the dishes, I had no problem with that but it dawned on me that she never asked Dante to do it so I did what any brother would do, I dobbed on him, she did not give a fuck. I asked Dante why she doesn't tell him to do shit and he replied with "you know, there was a time when I was a bitch like you. Mum had me clean the dishes years ago but I learnt that if you do a really shitty job at it, she'll never ask anything of you again." which fucking blew my mind, at that moment, it felt like the world shifted because I commanded it to but then he added "that was only because I knew you were gonna grow up to be her bitch though, don't get any ideas, mate. It'd take a miracle for Andy to even move let alone clean the dishes." and it was at that moment that I realized that the world only shifted because Dante commanded it to. The second thing I learnt is that whenever a frozen burger tells you to microwave it for 2 minutes, you should always put it in the fucker for 2 and a half. Da cheeze be all hard and stuff.

Heading west.

"Baby, I got a plan; run away as fast as you can."

Nothing beats sipping on milk tea while trying to think of things to blog late in the evening, except food, yeah, food would probably be better right about now.

I always have this image in my head of a perfect getaway place, it varies every time I think about it but it's more or less the same. I think of a beach but instead of sand, there'd be pebbles and instead of the sea, it'd be a relatively deep river with a moderately fast current and to top it off, there'd be a log home nearby with a fireplace/barbecue with trees a far as the eye can see. I've had lucid dreams and it was the closest thing to paradise I've ever felt. I don't know why I'm sharing something so insignificant but I suppose it's better than leaving the page blank. Maybe it's something I'll eventually work towards. Niggas better be preped, there are some great things down the road for me and I'm gonna embrace the fuck out of it. 

I could rule the world.

" I'm a mess, that don't rhyme with shit,
It's just true."

My brother stayed home this past weekend since his girlfriend is at Sydney, which is dope cause I rarely get to talk to him. He told me his living habits changed drastically depending on who he's with, I don't find that strange rather, I think that's as normal as anything else. We talk heaps but we don't talk about much if that makes any sense... It's like, the topics we talk about are events or thoughts that are in the moment rather than bringing something up that might leak information about our lives or personalities. I almost forgot what it was like to have an older brother and I'm happy to know that the two aren't that different from each other.

I'm starting to grow chest hair, I have mixed feelings about this. I was told that it's because my testosterone levels are acting up because of all the manly shit I do, notsureifsrs. They're thick as fuck, too. I swear I could stab the next person I hug through my shirt and if it's cold, my nipples would assist in the assassination.

Get Serious.

if you close your eyes just before the end, you'll feel at peace.

After a few years of not giving fucks, I find that I tend to be worried about people who do, thus making me a fuck-giver. I don't think it's ever possible to find complete contentment anymore since there will always be emotional people who think they're alone when they could not be any further away from the truth. The people I'm around are the people I regard as family. There is really nothing stopping me from leaving a place I don't want to be. If only people would stop belittling themselves to nothingness and give themselves a little credit (fucking deserved, mind you) they would find life a little more fulfilling and a lot less troublesome.

Everything is awesome. Nothing is a waste.

19 is a pretty big number...

"If there is a god,
he better beg for my forgiveness."

There are currently 3 people sleeping in my room. It's seems to be like a tradition to burn out in my house after every gathering, not that I mind, it's just something I seemed to have noticed over the years.

It's cool how the things you used to worry about become one of those things you barely notice until you're pretty much forced to think about it to even have it ring any bells. I used to dwell over the most stupid things, things that made no fucking sense whatsoever but after all that happened today, my worries and unnecessary thoughts have come to another minimum. It's amazing how people can do things without uttering a word, maybe it's because I want to believe it's one thing when it might be the other, leaving it to open interpretation and I just picked the one that benefited me the most. Thank you so much, mate.

Happy 19th mooooiiiitteeeeeee

It was a dope night. Thank you for fuckin' errythangggg

Suicide.

"Life is hard, money makes it harder."

Posting on a daily basis is fucking hard. 

Nothing has really happened the last few days, maybe it has and I just don't remember. I was blessed with a conversation with a mate from primary school, she was there in High school but I don't think we've ever sat down and had a real conversation those days, which is kinda sad knowing that High school won't ever happen again. We talked about what there only is to talk about and that was mainly our primary school days. I was never "all there" those days. She always recalled things I don't, for the life of me, remember but to be honest, it felt like we had just talked about the same things in the exact same order once again, in retrospect, it's kinda sad. 

People are looking forward to a certain party tomorrow. It amazes me that even though the host of that party invited so many people she has (to my knowledge) barely any relation to. Maybe I'm just being ignorant, it's not unordinary if people are more than what they show.

Dude, I am so fucking hungry right now. I would go make a sandwich or something but my brother is in the next room sleeping, which hasn't happened in like 4342985902 years. Don't want to disturb a person I'm so grateful to, also, it's so fucking cold, my nipples could pierce my screen and through the window. My feet are numb and my balls are all shriveled. It's tough to exert my dominance through nakidity in Winter.

Fuck it.

"Now tell me how was I supposed to feel when the president spoke ?
when he ain't never had a struggle; ain't never been broke.
Ain't even roll through the ghetto; ain't never been close.
Trustin' the government is like trustin' the devil in oath."

Reading all these blogs kinda made me wanna post. I didn't read much, skimming through posts about a person's rants, workout routines and summery of their day. I'm not saying that it's wrong, perhaps it's just all you can blog about. I think the reason why I can't think of anything to blog is because blogging is something for the mind. My mind is mostly empty. What ever goes through my head comes out of my mouth as soon as in makes contact with my ears and because of that, I'm extremely ignorant and that just leads to another array of other things.

It's easier to come to terms with yourself the more you are reminded, the more it's shoved in your face when you get a unordinary reaction from things you think that are completely ordinary. I don't get many readers but  I do want them to understand that's just the way I am and if you don't want to even try then fuck off, I don't want anything to do with you, as far as I'm concerned, you're on the same boat as those who are against gay marriage.

I think this post will become the leverage for future posts.