"Remember who you are."
I learnt two things today:
One is that whenever your parents (this really only applies to the mother) argue or lecture you, it is your obligation to shut the fuck up and nod politely. I was taught this by my older brother who has seemed to have done this his entire life, something I really admire because it takes so much willpower to stay wrong even if you think you're in the right. There are ways around it though. I was having dinner with my mum at her house and as we finished up mumsies asked me to clean the dishes, I had no problem with that but it dawned on me that she never asked Dante to do it so I did what any brother would do, I dobbed on him, she did not give a fuck. I asked Dante why she doesn't tell him to do shit and he replied with "you know, there was a time when I was a bitch like you. Mum had me clean the dishes years ago but I learnt that if you do a really shitty job at it, she'll never ask anything of you again." which fucking blew my mind, at that moment, it felt like the world shifted because I commanded it to but then he added "that was only because I knew you were gonna grow up to be her bitch though, don't get any ideas, mate. It'd take a miracle for Andy to even move let alone clean the dishes." and it was at that moment that I realized that the world only shifted because Dante commanded it to. The second thing I learnt is that whenever a frozen burger tells you to microwave it for 2 minutes, you should always put it in the fucker for 2 and a half. Da cheeze be all hard and stuff.
One is that whenever your parents (this really only applies to the mother) argue or lecture you, it is your obligation to shut the fuck up and nod politely. I was taught this by my older brother who has seemed to have done this his entire life, something I really admire because it takes so much willpower to stay wrong even if you think you're in the right. There are ways around it though. I was having dinner with my mum at her house and as we finished up mumsies asked me to clean the dishes, I had no problem with that but it dawned on me that she never asked Dante to do it so I did what any brother would do, I dobbed on him, she did not give a fuck. I asked Dante why she doesn't tell him to do shit and he replied with "you know, there was a time when I was a bitch like you. Mum had me clean the dishes years ago but I learnt that if you do a really shitty job at it, she'll never ask anything of you again." which fucking blew my mind, at that moment, it felt like the world shifted because I commanded it to but then he added "that was only because I knew you were gonna grow up to be her bitch though, don't get any ideas, mate. It'd take a miracle for Andy to even move let alone clean the dishes." and it was at that moment that I realized that the world only shifted because Dante commanded it to. The second thing I learnt is that whenever a frozen burger tells you to microwave it for 2 minutes, you should always put it in the fucker for 2 and a half. Da cheeze be all hard and stuff.
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