Shit could be worse.

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful
without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too ?"

I am a giant douchebag. I think when it comes to how you see people, no one deserves a second chance. You are who you are because of the way you portray/portrayed yourself. It's pretty difficult to change your perspective of someone once they've fucked up. Wanna read about my fuck up ?

I remember when I was a kid, I was so spoiled, even more than I am now, and that's pretty damn spoiled. My family would live in luxurious houses and I was completely oblivious to how hard many others had it. I would have people hate me due to the way I was, back then I could feel the segregation from me to them, just like now I couldn't understand their point of view, only back then I didn't ignore it. I've had family tell me that I made fun of people for being poor and less fortunate. It's ridiculous, I know. As a kid that was raised in such a manner, social awkwardness was something else that formed in my mentally deranged mind, making me the ultimate shit stirrer/crybaby/ignorant/obnoxious/cocky tool I've ever known. At one point my family owned a dog, a really clever dog that went by the name "D.J" (I still have no idea what that stood for)

A baby black German Shepard that grew in a hurry, he knew how to shake hands and fetch but being the massive asshole I was, I didn't treat him very well, I'd even go as far as to say I treated him like dirt, probably worse than dirt. I never knew the value of life and neglected the wonder that just wanted to play. When my dad abused him, I felt no guilt, sympathy nor empathy. When I abused him, it was the same. The way we treated D.J caused him to run amok and cause trouble around the neighborhood, whether it be biting pedestrians or shagging a random dog down the street. The government came to see us personally and we had to put him down. At the time, my mum was overseas only to come back to a dogless home. I didn't get why she cried but I knew she was the only one who looked after D.J properly and so I was given a small taste of reality.

In hindsight there are quite a bit of things I wish I did differently but whether I feel that way or not it doesn't matter. There was never a point in getting sad and worked up over something you can't change now. If it weren't for all of that I would not be able to sit here and type all this, so in sense, I'm really, really grateful; as fucked up as that sounds. I try to stand by the words I remember, even if I saved the world, I'm still a cunt so looking at the circumstances I'm in at the moment seems like a great fortune has been bestowed upon me and it has. Being treated like dirt can't bother me either.

I miss the shit out of that dog.

Rest in Peace. D.J