Was it out of pity ?

"What do I fear ?

I fear stagnation and lack of progress.

I fear never reaching my potential and being average.

I fear being forgotten.... The past... Yesterday's news.

I fear giving up and being passed by, going softly into that good night.

I fear letting those I love down, letting myself down.

I fear settling, giving in to the "that's just the way it is" mindset.

I fear dying without leaving my mark.

I fear not feeling these fears anymore and just floating along.

These fears feed me, they nourish my drive.

I love my fear."

Well I'll be damned, he actually paid up, I'm pretty sure he knows I know that he knows that he's a complete bullshitter, this dawned on me a long time ago but it wasn't until he asked to borrow money that he started to be a little nice to me and that tells me that he doesn't want to be neglected out of the fear of not knowing where to go afterwards. People can so tolerant, it's definitely a trait I admire, no matter how many times I think about it, I don't think I can let big things go the way some do, not just to a certain extent but it's almost like they completely forgot it ever happened. I really hope it's just a blind eye and not something they actually forgave. The world has a strange and wonderful of giving people what they deserve.

Ah fuck it, fuck you, Jack
even though I had almost nothing to do with the major fuck up of 2011, I think there's some unfinished business floating about.