"You're breaking my balls fuel prices, you're breaking mah ballz!"
- Everyone, ever, well, not really, mainly these last few months.
I'm starting to lose it, man. I think it's the post-Dash-Berlin-depression kicking in. I've been singing "Better Half Of Me" everywhere for the last 24 hours and that's just the tip of it. Let me tell you how much this is affected me, right before I started typing, I was chilling and noticed my fan was making weird noise and I asked the fan "Is something wrong?" and then fixed it, keep in mind that I live alone. As far as I'm concerned, I don't think I would've done that had it been any other situation. I asked a fan "Is something wrong", I don't even, bro.
Didn't wake up til 12pm which marked my 24th hour of not eating but it's rare to wake up and feel hungry straight away, so I bummed for a few more hours before I got something to eat but even then, it's not much. My stomach has shrunk so much that it's not even a quarter of what it was. It's a strange diet but thanks to it, I'm 75kg which is 14 less than what I was on Christmas. Hopefully I'll reach my goal and stop soon, nothing is more satisfying than eating a fuck tonne of food and then eating more.
Drove Teddy around when he was done with tafe, listened to his complaints about the study life and felt good about myself for not following that path some I often wonder what it's like. Maybe studying won't be that bad, it's never too late though. Dropped Tolentino home and then cruised around which inevitably got me lost and had one hell of an adventure, lots of stray dogs, man, made me depressed.
A lot of things have been on my mind lately, it's unusual because I'm so used to not having a care in the world but these seeds have been planted in my head through conversation. Mumsies arranged some sort of marriage for me so that this chick she likes can stay in Australia and it completely blew my mind because I had never even thought about getting a girlfriend let alone a wife. It's your mum though, and because it's your mum, she says "whatever makes you happy" but it's as clear as a baby's bottom that she wants this marriage to go through. Now I'm thinking about shit like "will she be happy doe?" "will I be happy?" "can she even tolerate me?" "are we going to have to do couple-ly things for years?" "does this chick even know?" "can I even provide for her?" ".....kids?" and then Teddy comes along and tells me about studying and even though he was doing the opposite of bragging, it still left something. I can't even ask Andy what I should do anymore since he stopped living with me so I went for a run, had a nap and forgot about everything, that is, until I had to fucking blog. Guess I'll sleep it off and let future Me deal with it.
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