And the waltz goes on.

"You look like you had a shit day."

- 7/11 clerk, when I went to get a slurpee.

Ah, Sunday; another dreaded Sunday, the day where I most feel like a worthless piece of shit, I don't let it get to me though, the only reason I feel like that is because I just bum around til it's time to eat and then sleep on Sundays and that's not even something to feel bad about but knowing I could be doing something more productive when I'm not is a little disheartening. I used to be all about doing nothing, I remember I would put forth effort to not put in effort in every little thing in life, you know, when it was simpler but now, it's all about going here, doing that then going home, have a wank, get something to eat, have another wank and then go to sleep while slipping in a wank somewhere within that regimen, a real routine-like lifestyle. I didn't need to worry about that today though, today was Hoc's birthday barbecue held at Kiet's house for some reason.

Today made it clear as day (which is ironic because the day was not clear at all) that I don't like being around big groups of people, even if it is a group of people I'm familiar with. It felt the same at Tai's little LAN party the night before he moved out, despite how long it has been since I've last saw them, a part of me wanted to go home, which shouldn't happen at all when you're with your mates. I spent the majority of the event cooking and by the time I was done, there was no food left so that didn't help. In all honesty, I sat down and waited for Leon to move his car so I could go home. It's sad, really. I think KT is starting to see things from my point of view as well. Shit is just crumbling in our eyes.

I hope I'm just over-thinking things, it'd be cool to go back to looking forward to events like today. I think it's just the fact that everyone is so occupied with their own thing that they don't leave much time for their high school circle which is completely understandable if they didn't brag about how they will never break apart or some shit like that. How they can say and mean such groundless statements is beyond me. Ugh, this cynicism is unbecoming of me.

Dante came across some weed so we got high, went to get something to eat and here I am. My weed tolerance shot down to the point where it would take me like, half a joint to start laughing at the dent on my fridge, which is dope seeing as though people would feel inclined to punch my in my face since they felt as though as if they were wasting their share of week by giving it to me but they still did it because they're morons.

And The Waltz Goes On - Anthony Hopkins (Hannibal Lector)