"You eat really fucking loudly, you know that?"
- Troy Reynolds
- Troy Reynolds
I never noticed, guess living alone all this time made me superfluous to this fact, I mean, there really isn't a need to eat quietly when there's no one else around so having this shoved into my face was really eye-opening so when I was faced with this statement, I thought about it for ages as I smacked my lips harder. I remember being told something like this in high school, Tiffany would often tell me how disgusting and annoying I was when I ate so I had to turn around or put forth effort to eat with my mouth closed, thinking back now; that was a dumb ass thing to do, I wonder why I let those opinions get the better of me. I should've told her to fuck off or get up and eat elsewhere, I don't know why people get mad over something like that, I'm fucking eating, that's like telling me to stop breathing. How can you even pay attention to something like that when you're eating anyway? I get so immersed in my own food, I won't even realize I was being butt-raped until the meal is over, I thought everyone was the same. Fucking people, man, fuck em'.
Speaking of food; I saw something amazing today. I spent the day as Troy's (I call him "God" now since his name sounds like "Troi") off-sider and we went to refuel the truck as we do every morning before our deliveries and the dude bought a sausage roll when he went in to pay for the fuel, notice how I said "a sausage roll" and not "a sausage roll with sauce" yeah, that's right, this dude was eating a sausage roll by itself. I looked at this dude as if he took a bite out of a kit kat without breaking it apart for the entire duration of his meal and that segway-ed into an 8 hour-long argument on whether or not it is normal for people to eat sausage rolls without sauce. We had 8 deliveries which meant I had 8 chances to prove to this guy that that shit isn't normal. I forgot to ask some of the customers and to my amazement, 4 out of 6 people do not have sauce with their sausage rolls, to me, that is insane. One of the dudes I asked was a real Aussie, like, a real, real Aussie, if this dude was any more Aussie, he'd shit didgeridoos. The guy had the flag tattooed across his chest and everything, goddamnit, can't believe I lost a bet I was so sure of winning. I was so caught up in that sight that I forgot to pay attention to anything else throughout the day. I spent the entire day thinking about sausage rolls.
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