Maybe.

"Alright, I'm off to work."
- Dante Le.

You know what I realized today ? I have no fucking idea where Dante works. All I know is he works for Woolworths but I wouldn't have a clue as to what he actually does. I assume it's something to do with labour but I don't know where he goes, where he's stationed, I'm not even sure if he actually goes to work at all. It's a strange thing to realize now since he's been at it long before I started working. He leaves the house on my days off and it kinda feels like I'm his wife or something, only instead of "bye dear." it's more like "Hey Dante, where are you going?" "fuck up, cunt." "what are your plans today, Dante? ahahaha that rhymes." "I'm off, laters!" that's pretty much how our Sunday and Monday mornings go and sometimes, it can be the best part of my working week. I don't know why but I live off from other's negative auras.

It's not that I think I'm better than them but I think it's my little way of reminding them that it doesn't have to be like this, you know. Everyone is open to do what they want to do and they can put themselves in a position where they will never do something they don't want to do. I think they'll eventually get sick of my shit and just change things so that I won't have the chance to shove anything in their face but that's not something I'm consciously aware of at the time, I do it because it's funny and because I'm a sadistic, grinning piece of shit and that's okay. It's better than okay.

I hit up Leon again but didn't get an answer, seems like his phone is buggered. I didn't crash anyone's house yesterday so my weekly routine of bumming with an unfamiliar face was about to see it's end, but luckily for me, Jeremy had popped by to see what was happening. We didn't do much, he talked about what he has been up to and I kinda just sat there, half-listening to what he was saying with no particular input of my own. That's the downside of "catching up" with people. I don't actually have anything to say. The day is actually spent just being around a person you're not usually with and it's got a beautiful twang when the concept is put that way. Maybe it's just different with different people.

Maybe - Flvor

Easy fraction.

"HAHAH WHOOPS!"
- Dante Le

It was meant to be a first, the first time Dante, Andy and myself would go to the markets together. It's very rare that Dante and I would have a day off on the same day and even more so rare that Andy would agree to get up and go somewhere early in the morning. Everyone was pretty keen, well, I was but you know how plans go :L they don't. We slept in and even though there was still time to get to the markets, it was inevitably decided that we wouldn't go to Rocklea but instead, help ourselves to Maccas breakfast and just bum about in Andy's room until we felt our day was productive enough. I know I shouldn't be surprised but man, I sure was surprised. Plans seem to come out of no where and just make you believe that what they say is what's going to happen and without so much as a recap, everything has been decided, funny that. It wasn't so bad, saw a nice EP9 in the Maccas car park, which I assume belongs to Tai, also spent a little time with the brothers which is something I wouldn't miss for the world.

I need to learn how to appreciate the time we spend together. Our age gaps are pretty wide so there aren't many things that all three of us have in common, in fact, I'm pretty sure the only thing all of us love is food. I'm pretty sure that was the main reason of us planning to go to the markets in the first place but other than that, our interests sit far, far away from each other. Brothers shouldn't be so oblivious to one another like we are but I think that if we got any closer, there will be clashes and those clashes would lengthen the gap we've set for each other. I think I'm just over-thinking this whole "brotherly-relationship" thingy, at least, I hope I am.

Easy Fraction (OFFF Remix) - Breakbot

Pacific.

"This is going to be the busiest day we've ever had. I hope you're up for it."
- Steve

Not quite sure why but today was the most busiest day the company had ever seen. We did 143 deliveries today, the previous record being 104 so it's pretty fair to say that we pooped all over the last record holders. It was very strange to come home late on a Saturday though. I'm so used to going home at around 2pm that I guess I just kinda expected to be home by then. Naturally, I was a little grumpy the it was 7pm by the time I showered but that's a little asshole-ish of me. Everyone was a little shitty when they got back from their runs and it doesn't help if I felt shitty with them. It's easy to get over things when you think about them in a different light. It's a shame that I'll never see Saturdays the same way again. As much as I do enjoy coming home early, staying late isn't so bad either. It's not like I get much done when I'm at home anyway.

My earphones are starting to die. It's not a big deal but I barely have the time to gym let alone go shopping for earphones every-so-often. One side has died and the other side requires some positioning for adequate effect.

I break a lot of shit. Everytime something that is meant for use gets given to me, I snap the fucker in no time at all. It's probably why I still keep the phone I have, that subconscious fear of breaking something of value because it wouldn't be the first time it happened, granted, I don't break so much as I lose them which isn't as bad but it shows how careless I can get. I'm thankful to Tai for giving me this phone, it's probably the longest time I've had a phone in my possession that hasn't ended up in the hands of another. I get hassled a lot to get a new phone but I don't want to start using something I could lose and feel awful about. It's gotten to the point where I can't even bother to explain myself because I'm tired of saying the same shit over and over again to different people. I would still feel terrible if something were to happen to the phone I have now, there's a lot of sentimental value lurking about in this little, white, flip-slide-touch phone, that, and it's a fucking flip phone, I mean, how many of those do you see nowadays? fucking none and that's one of the main reason I'm not giving up on this thing that has been with me through thick and thin. It's a beautiful relationship we have, really.

Pacific (Les Loups Remix) - Glen Check

Midnight.

"I glad I got you today, Kevie. These new guys are fucken hopeless."

- Big Brad.

I never get to work with the new guys, simply because I'm only trained as an offsider and drive very, very rarely so the only people I really get to work with are drivers, people who are actually paid to drive and that excludes all the people who have started recently. The workers who have been with the company for quite some time like to exaggerate things. They would say things that don't sound true and when I go to find out, it's nothing like they say. It's pretty harsh, you know, the things they say to another behind eachother's backs, makes me wonder if there's some nasty stuff about me floating about. Families don't do this, nothing we represent can ever be called a family, the very idea of that disturbs me but shit, man, these are the people that are helping me get my real family up and running again. I hate it when there's a loophole is my list of morals. I guess what it all boils down to is that I don't like people who say one thing and then do another but I have to when I work. There's inner confrontation in that 10 minute period where I finish work for the day. "I can't believe I just let that happen." and then I reason it with "nigga, you were working. Fuck everything else and get the thingy done" and it goes back and forth until I do something that kinda makes all those thoughts go away, things like eating, napping, talking, driving, pretty much anything else that stops me from being alone with my thoughts. I got really side-tracked on this paragraph :L I don't even know why I come across as someone who's so concerned to be honest. Nothing's perfect, except me. I'm da bes.

I got asked to work up at the coast. Apparently, they saw me do what an offsider is supposed to do and I guess they're suffering from a lack of common sense up at the coast and now they're doing everything they can to get me to leave my current job and get me to work as a warehouse manager for Harvey Norman. Talk about climbing the community ladder but I've yet to be sick of this place so I might have to put that on hold. I don't know if they were even being serious but it sure sounded like it. It's always nice to have some sort of a backup plan when things go to shit, it's a shame that those aren't the first things I think about when I wake up every morning.

Midnight (Kygo Remix) - Coldplay

This is forever.

"Oh god!"

- Jordan.

There's this dude name Jordan that works at the warehouse. He and I would exchange jokes every time we see eachother and it became a real thing for a while. One day, I couldn't think of any jokes on the top of my head while he was pulling them out of his ass as if he was a monkey. I remembered this joke Dante performed in front me of at the gym, it made me laugh for ages and I assumed it would have the same effect on good ol' Jordie but man, was I wrong. I went up to Jordie and asked him if he's seen my quads to which he replied with a no. This is the part where I pulled up the right side of my shorts to give him a good view of my quad whilst purposefully leaving my right testicle in broad daylight. I don't know why I thought he would find it hilarious and it wasn't til after I did it that I realized that not everyone is like Dante and I. Not everyone has that level of crude humour and that there are people who are mentally vulnerable to things like that. He has not spoken to me since and only gives me weird looks when we meet. Is it strange that I don't regret doing that in the slightest? 

Got to befriend a few people up at Browns Plains Harvey Norman warehouse. I wouldn't do it in any other situation but if you're going to be seeing people on a weekly basis, I guess it couldn't hurt to make conversation every now and again. We talked about a few thing and I noticed how far apart our interests laid, it put me off but there's a certain atmosphere of respect when we work together even though we're so vastly different. I kind of like it.

Home, shower, gym, mumsies', din din, nap nap. That's how it pretty much goes after work, doesn't look like it can be changed anytime soon but I guess I'll just wait til after that "anytime soon" It wouldn't be all that bad to have a complete warp of routine, if only for a bit.

This is Forever - Hellberg & Danyka Nadeau

Sky.

"Hey look, Beau! you own a desert!"
- Kevin Le, when driving on Beaudesert Road.

Oh man, my shitty jokes won't see the end of it. Was a pretty good day, kicked it with Beau for the first time in a while, I say "a while" but really, it's been like a week, feels so much more longer though. Maybe that's just my brain telling me that it's fun to be with the Gatton boys, and it is, as gay as that sounds, sounds pretty gay.

I heard 3005 on the radio today, it was a total surprise. You can imagine the face of the people in the warehouse when they see a 4ft asian dude with hot pants (don't ask) rap along to a random hip hop song on the radio but I've been working there for a few months now so it doesn't come across as a surprise anymore, at this point, I can only see a great sense of disappointment in their eyes. They talked about Childish's "Because the Internet" album for a bit and then it fucked off back into the world of mainstream, which sucks balls when you listen to the radio as often as I do, I swear I can sing every song in reverse in 23 different languages at this point.

Went home, showered and headed to the gym. My sessions have been a lot shorter but more effective. I guess I spend more time bumming around and resting in there than I thought I did because I can pretty much end any session in an hour and a half just by putting on some earphones and ignoring anyone. It can be bad though, a lot of people see the gym as a place of social gatherings and I suppose it can be but there's got to be a limit to the length of time you can talk to a person. I walk in and I see people work out their mouths more than any other part of their body and it really rustles my jimmies.

My outlook on life has seemed to dim a little. I can already see my blog consisting of rants than what goes through the day but no one wants to read back on their blog to be reminded of the things that pissed you off in your adolescence, it should be the complete opposite but shit, if that's all I think is worth writing than I really need to get out there and do more stuffs.

 Sky - Sterner & Martell

I wanna be down.

"Or.... we could just get Kevin to do it."

- God/Troy Reynolds. Talking about who should be in the car to clutch-start the blue turd.

I got to be Stevie's partner again :L poor bastard, that's 3 times in a row but it doesn't seem like he minds. We got a little tradition of sorts happening since we're often paired up together. We'd get pizzas and mcfloats whenever we have the chance. I would sing and he would tell me to shut up whilst playing some music you would never think he would listen to, stuff like old school rap and old school rnb. I'd make noises and he'd make funny, racist remarks and cleverly incorporate how physically challenged I am in every sentence he utters from his mouth and I would love every single one of them. Work is pretty fun when you look past all the bullshit people throw on you, it's not so bad when there's someone else to share the load, never had a job like this before so knowing that there are people out there that are even remotely similar to these people makes me a wee bit giddy.

Today was the first time I saw Troy ever since he's girlfriend got into a car accident in his car. Apparently, Troy took a week off to help his missus recover, he seemed in good spirits and you couldn't even tell that something traumatic just happened to the dude but I suppose there's nothing you can do in that sort of situation. No anger, frustration or worrying will make it better, I like to think he realized this and just did the logical thing, whether he did or not is something I don't think I would like to know.

Hopped in the blue turd and learnt how to clutch-start a car! I never knew something like that even existed. Sounds like something you'd resort to if you had plans to steal a car sometime in your life but I digress. "When I say "GO!" slam your foot on the clutch, then on the accelerator and back on the clutch again, Stevie and I will push." and that's how you clutch start, might be useful if you ever find yourself in your car with a flat battery. Oh, be sure to leave it on accessories and put it into gear 2 if you're pushing forwards and Reverse if you're pushing backwards; the more you know. And if you own an Auto, you're fucked. Much love, Kevin Le.

I Wanna Be Down (LeMarquis Remix) - Brandy

Lionhearted.

"You know your shit smells when you can actually smell it."
- Dante Le.

Woke up feeling pretty good. There isn't much to do on a week day day off. There actually might be quite a bit but none that has caught my attention thus far. When there's nothing for me to do on days like this, I make a little trip to Inala to get some foods and then bum with mumsies at her shop until it closes, which is exactly what I did. I miss working there on the weekends, can't remember how many years it's been since I last did that as a source of income but it's good to relive it once in a while. It must've been quite a few years because I look at all the regulars and how they've aged, I swear the people in Skylark age so much more faster than everyone else. No one recognized me, I didn't physically change that much, did I? either way, it was kind of heartbreaking to have all these people I used to make small talk with stop conversing with me altogether but that's just the way it goes, doesn't it? no one would keep in touch to those who purposely don't make the effort to, I just hope it's not too late.

Bummed at Elvis' house in Forest Lake, the first time in a long time. I have this strange feeling that his parents don't like me that much. I'm just too different from them which makes them think I'm a bad influence to their children and they'd be right :L Never was brought up with manners or any sense of privacy but that doesn't mean I don't know what they are, it just means that it doesn't cross my mind as often as it does to others. The only reason I took the chance to bum at their house was because his parents were at Vietnam for a month, which only goes to show how bad of a person I am but I stayed til 3am, playing pool with Elvis while talking about what's been happening as Archer and Jackie Chan Adventures play in the distant background. It was nice, shame I had work the next day. I probably would've stayed the night and then some if given the chance but even I have the decency to leave when I hear a yawn or two.

Lionhearted (Arty Remix) - Porter Robinson & Urban Cone

Stay awake.

"You wanna go skating?"

- Hong Nguyen. Long story short; we didn't go skating.

I had so many plans today, none of them actually happened though. When I get my days off, I come up with this list in my head, a list of shit I would like to get done. You know, shit like thoroughly cleaning my house, shopping for necessities, trying some new food joint, hunting and downloading music, sorting my library or catching up with some old friend whom I have not seen in a significant amount of time. Well, I did get one of those things done, as unintentional as it was.

I don't know how but I spent the entire day watching an anime I've already seen about this poor bastard that somehow ended up under the same roof as 3 goddesses that get up to everyday things like school and cooking and shit. I don't think I could've possibly wasted my time more effectively than I did today. Even though I don't like staying still for too long, if I know that it's my day off, my body just does everything it can to make sure that it's actually a day off. I don't even go to the gym on Sundays and Mondays unless someone else was keen to go with. There's a certain pointlessness to being active for a few hours and then coming home to a relaxing environment. If I had a choice, I would much rather be active for a majority of the day than switching back and forth from on to off several times in a 24 hour period. I just wish I could understand my habits better than I do now. I hate saying something and then doing another more than most.

Took the chance to bum with Lynn and Hong, which is something I haven't done since that time we played Mario Kart in my room with Hong's brother, which was ages ago. Holy shit, that was before I got my pennyboard and the time I bummed with those two before that was when we went to the markets and then the movies to watch Anchorman 2. Man, I remember the strangest things but I'm sure there's a good reason for that. It was a good night. There was a first for many things. First time I I skated (kinda :L) near the lake at a late hour, first time I saw Ronnie and Mande alone together and the first time I went to the Mt Gravatt lookout and observed the blinking city lights and the first time I realized how easy things can be when you come to terms with yourself. It really was a good night, I learnt a lot and sorted out a lot more than I knew what do with and I'm glad I did.

I find myself thanking Hong a lot. She's like the parent that stuck around to show me the ropes instead of bailing the moment a chance appeared. I don't know if my liking her had anything to do with it but I'm starting to think it doesn't so I'll say it again: Thank you, Hong. You da niggest.

Stay Awake - Madeon & Ellie Goulding

Going home.

"White people change gears so fast."
- Kevin Le. I think it's my turn to be a bit bigoted. This work-place racism needs a bit more diversity, as ironic as that sounds.

Poor Stevie, unfortunate bastard has had the rotten luck of working with me twice in a row :L The way I see things; working with me is kinda like a typhoon or some sort natural disaster. It's fun and exciting in the beginning but then ends with disaster, it just kinda depends on your outlook on life whether or not you will have a good day or not. But I think some of the guys are starting to adapt to me and vice versa. Apparently, there's yet to be a complaint in how I work but being told that just leaves me even more suspicious than I originally was. "We'll talk shit about you in front you you but you'll never hear a compliment leave my mouth when you're nearby" is somewhat of a rule everyone abides by. They're probably think it's not socially acceptable for men to compliment each other in such a labour-heavy line of work, which is retarded if you ask me but sadly, no one as asked me so these thoughts have yet to leave my head through my mouth.

Everything seemed fine. Our day wasn't the greatest but we had no major trouble, it was the same as every other day pretty much. But for some odd reason, when we got back from our run, Stevie had a sudden change of personality, at least that's what it seemed like. He was in a hurry to leave and left skid marks all up the car park and left without so much as a word to anyone. It boggled the minds of everyone but hey, what can you do ? I usually rationalize anything I don't understand by being a bigot and blaming it on their race, gender or age, not sincerely of course, all in good fun but it does bug me when I don't understand someone's behaviour so generalizing creates some sort of illusion that barely satisfies my curiosity. It's pretty wrong now that I think about it but hey, whatever it takes to get through the fucking day, amirite?

Going Home - Cosmic Gate & Emma Hewitt

Eyes, nose, lips.

"What the fuck..."
- Kevin Le. When I hopped in a mate's car to move it.

Rocked up earlier than usual, unloaded a truck filled to the brim with lounges, honestly, you couldn't even fit a single Asian in there the way they pack the damn thing. And the Boss asked me to take the little blue car out of the warehouse so they have room to operate the forklift. I always pounce at the chance to drive a different car and in this case, it was an old Swift but when I hopped in, man, I swear, the world was doing everything it could to prevent me from steering the fuck. I have no idea how the Gatton boys drive this blue turd every single fucking day. It wasn't until they told me it didn't have any power steering that I decided trying new cars probably isn't for me. I'm never used to putting the force of a million earths to move a car, fuck that and everything about that little blue car.

I think I'm going to try a little harder, not just at work, just in general. It would make it a lot easier for many others. I don't like seeing tired people, you know, people who have just done way more than they're meant to do. It's good that they're being so productive but you really got to pace yourself. It's even worse when people change instantaneously because they're so tired. Getting different reactions from the same people can be scary.

Hahahaha, my singing has become contagious, work just got a little more interesting.

Eyes, Nose, Lips - Tablo Taeyang

Gravity.

"Kev baby.... sorry, mate. That's all I got. I'm so fucking tired right now."

- Tony.

People try to make work as fun as it can possibly be and to a certain extent, that shit works, it works really well but when people have been putting long hours and have plans and shit to do when they finish, the tension rises as the night goes on. The string gets thinner and thinner until eventually, all it takes is a red traffic light to set you off. I'm not talking about me by the way, I've yet to be pushed to that limit but when it comes to pretty much everyone else, it becomes a heavy environment to be in. Everyone has been clocking in over 10 hours a person and to a person who has a family and lives, it can build up and eventually burn you out. I'm just fortunate enough that once I finish work for the day, I pretty much bum around until I can work again but shit hits the fan real quick when no one is looking. It's almost painful to rock up in the morning greeted by smiles and jokes and then come back as soon as the run is finished to a bunch of moans, groans, frowns and eagerness to get the fuck out of there.

kicked it with Big Brad who was glad to have me on board. Apparently, he's been getting paired up with all the new guys and they're hopeless, or maybe they're all really good, I'm just better hehehe. Didn't think people would voluntarily pick me, what with all my out-of-tune singing and off-beat dancing in the most inappropriate places but hey, just goes to show how incompetent people can be.

Got home, showered, bummed with the fambam and then got home where I proceeded to look for music. Never realised this before but man, I got a long way to go to properly update my library.

 Gravity - Kevin Wild, Punk Party & Kelly Sweet

Words.

"Why don't you go hook up with Vanessa?"
- Tony

"Who?"
- Kevin Le

For some strange reason, Tony has it in his mind that Nataliee is Vanessa and has been calling her that for as long as he's known her, it was only today that I bothered to ask "Who the fuck is Vanessa?" and found out that Tony is a retard. Tony must go to Zaraffa's a lot to get to know and make conversation with the workers there. How I became apart of one of their conversations is something I'll never know.

Oh man, I went over to Mumsies' house today and bummed on Andy's youtube page and holy damn, I could not be any more proud of his taste in music. He's getting into trance and general EDM, there was quite a bit of Dumbfoundead/PARKER in his favourites, he's subscribed to all these channels that update frequently and I even heard he's been influencing his classmates with said taste of music. Just the other day, when I asked him if he's heard a song, he told me he already had and was listening to it on his headphones, fucking made me shed a tear. I know music isn't as big to him as it is to me but maybe one day it will be and when that time comes, I'm ready to fucking flood that bastard with all the songs I've collected thus far and it's gonna be mad. 

Yeah, music is a massive thing to me, I'm amazed it's not a massive thing to everyone. I think it all started with the piano, the idea of realizing that any song that's ever existed in the world can be played on the piano fascinated me. Any song I've ever wanted to play, I learnt and played until my fingers couldn't move. Classical moved on to instrumental, instrumental moved on to lyrical, lyrical moved onto hip hop and hip hop somehow found it's way into EDM and it's been jumping back and forth between those genres for as long as I remember. I lose motivation when I don't have music, I can't do my chores, stay awake or even gym without some sort of tune blasting in my ear so it's super duper important that I have an updated library at all times or else, imma slap a bitch. Pew pew pew pew, nigga.

 Words (Jacoo Remix) - Anna Graceman

Lightweight.

"Didn't you hear ? Troy's girlfriend was in a car accident and so Troy's taking the week off."
- Hassan. my heart stopped for a bit, man.

Too much is happening too fast. I started working for Steve a few months ago but in that time pommy Craig left, Shannon left, Bob/Josh suffered a knock out that left his shoulder in a bad state which made him leave as well, Big Brad suffered a heart attack, Little Brad left, Josh Cross left and now this shit. I really hope they're holding up well. It must've taken everything to not lose it, I can't imagine how he felt when he heard that his missus got hospitalized.

Thing's are getting a little tough; people are taking life's dick up their asses left, right and centre, it's the busy period for the company and all these incidents is making it hard to get workers to come in and get shit done but as far as I saw, it's nothing we can't handle. They emphasised the word "family" a lot today. It was a little much to take in all at once, it has to be at least a little overwhelming to suddenly accept all these people you barely know as your family so soon but I suppose they have their reasons. Thinking that way would make work more enjoyable than it already is and wouldn't leave the idea of reaching out to others far away.

As heartless as this is to say; it's those kind of accidents that make me glad I don't have a significant other, the idea of being helpless while the one you love is on his/her possible deathbed is way too much for anyone to handle, the stress would literally slowly kill a person in that situation. The more I see things like that, the more I'm grateful for leading a somewhat sheltered life. Got to be careful with who you decide to kick it with.

Lightweight - Jason Burns & Sarah Winters

Champions.

"It feels amazing to finally have your hard work and efforts realized whilst staying true to yourself."

- Hoc Vu.

Tried to hit up Cindy Nguyen this morning. I'm not sure why but I had the sudden urge to see her, in a totally non-romantic way, as unconvincing as that sounded. She was one of those people I didn't speak to at all in high school, maybe it was the lack of classes we had together or that I respected Leon too much to even make an effort of getting to know, which is retarded but not surprising. I was a reckless but cautious kid in those days. I probably thought that getting to know her better would cause some sort of drama that I just don't want so I didn't bother, it was the same with anyone who had a partner. That mentality made the girls I spoke to in high school very limited and there was only me to blame for that. Who wants to purposely be involved in something that troublesome anyway? but hey, it paid off in the end, there were a few close calls but I graduated while keeping my head down and left that place in good conscious, which is more than I can say for others :L 

I hit Cindy up with a text and got a reply saying she left for Melbourne a few hours earlier, it's a good thing I did, too, it would've been awkward as if I rocked up to an empty house with strawberry frappes and cookies demanding a person who isn't there to let me in, today I learnt that a text is imperative if impromptu bumming commences. I told her my intentions and surprisingly got a positive response but that still left me with the same situation I was in when I woke up.

I always seem to forget how many people love around me. As I went through the list in my head, Hoc stood out since I haven't seen him since he and I were training together at Anytime Fitness so I bought some white chocolate mochas and made my way to Catiger Street. I walked in and there stood Hoc in all his dopey glory. He was dressed in a button up shirt, long, vintage pants and a beret and top it off, he looked as if he was ready for a semi-casual event but when I asked him what was he so pampered up for, "this is how I always dress now" was all I got.

Guess I just kinda spent the day doing nothing with Hoc. By "nothing" I don't actually mean sitting there and just doing nothing, I mean doing everyday things like we did today, things like eat at a restaurant while talking about our common interests, picking up Augustian from Corinda High, watching snippets of anime and sharing music, things you'd do by yourself but there's a kind of positivity about it when you do what it takes one person with two, kinda like picking up a 5kg box with two people holding both sides (I've done that many times at work) I drove Hoc home and I probably won't see him again for a long time since he's going to be starting his new job soon. I'm glad I took the chance when I did, even though I only presented myself with the chance this morning.

Wonder which poor soul is going to have the displeasure of my presence next week? hehehehehe.

Champions - Astronaut & Harry Brooks JNR

Here tonight.

"So why did you stop playing the piano?"
- Crazy neighbour lady. I honestly could not give her crazy ass an answer.

I woke up to the cold air as it blew up my non-existing pants through the window I left open the night before. It acts as some sort of alarm, or at least, that's what I like to think it does. It was a quiet morning, man. No one was home, sunlight peered through the branches and shone on Betty. It was one of those moments that encouraged you to do something, in my case, it was to go get some coffee and then I went for a little drive to god knows where and somehow, I ended up at the markets. I didn't expect to see so many people gathered in one place, it was kinda on a whim so I bummed there for as long as I could which wasn't long since I was in nothing but some shorts, a singlet and thongs and the cold wing felt like it was out for my life. I didn't even brush my teeth until I got back home, pretty disgusting but then again, many things are when it comes to me, many things are when it comes to anyone, I just think I'm the only one I know that embraces it and then don't care about it.

I could tell it was going to be an uneventful day from the moment I woke up and it sucks but there really isn't anything I can do other than the usual. You know, like cleaning, lifting, blogging, but when I do all those things and there're still hours on the clock, I feel like I've wasted a precious, precious thing and it doesn't sit well but it's not like I can rock up to the warehouse and ask to work when there's no one there. So, I'm left with an empty, cold house. I don't think I've ever had this problem before. I guess I can always go back to love doing nothing, it's not hard, I'm just worried that when I do, I won't love productivity as much as I do now, if that made any sense :L

I sat on the piano bench and just spend a good 10 minutes looking at all the scribbles I got people to do on it. I love recalling when and how each scribble came about, gives me something to look at and smile about when I do play random tunes but my neighbour came up to me and asked me why it wasn't as good as it was a few years ago and when I told her I haven't been playing, she asked me why and now I'm starting to wonder that a little myself. Maybe I'll spend more of my free time learning all the bits I missed out about piano during high school, who knows, it might just give me the chance to catch up with Ronnie, John or even Liam.

Here Tonight (Club Mix) - Dash Berlin & Collin Mcloughlin 

Neon.

""Fap jar"? why didn't you call it a "wank bank"?"

- Beau Ensor. Oh my fucking god, why didn't I think of that?

The wank bank. I've let a wonderful chance pass me by. I'm going to think about this every time the fap jar miraculously finds it's way into conversation and it's going to make me depressed, goddamn it. I'm getting tired of my own blog as of late, it's not the fact that I write it down every-so-often but rather, the content of it. No one wants to know about what I did at work, not even I want to know what I did at work so writing it down is not only going to be pointless but boring as well and this blog is boring enough as it is so I'm gonna refrain from going into detail about what I did at work and focus more on other things. It's just a shame that there aren't many "other" things that I actually do throughout the day.

It's actually becoming a little too routine, you know, other than work, everything else is pretty much the same. I wish I could do more, man. Even though I wish for that, there really isn't much else I can do and at the same time, there isn't much else I'd rather be doing, I just wish there was a way I could do more. Gym is a type of therapy for me and there's not much else more comforting than visiting your parents house and talking over dinner. By the time that's all finished, it's time for a shower then time for bed and the routine repeats. It's hard to find the time to blog, look for music, seeing what's the haps with the peeps on Facebook and watch a movie or something so I'm really behind on my blog. It's like, the 26th and I'm recalling thing's that happened on the 14th. It's not so bad though, I remember getting a lift in Stevie's 2013 Club Spec Subaru WRX and hearing it make mad choo choo noises right after I spend the afternoon with Troy/God for our local run. I remember talking to my boss and Tony about people who have come and gone and what those people got up to and the type of shit they did in their time in Steve's care. I also remember how sad I felt when I saw Bob come back after so long, with a incomplete look on his face because his shoulder can't be fixed but all those things are work-related and it's something I want to give a break for awhile but at this rate, I don't think I can. Work is the only place where something actually happens, everything else seems to be a stalling process until work starts up again. It's pretty sad when you think about it like that.

 Neon - Itro & Cediv

Questions.

"Racism is still alive and strong I see."

- Pete.

It must come as a surprise when a 20 year old asian kid and a 50 year old white dude knock on your door and claim that they're from a lounge company and are there to deliver, unwrap and set up the lounge set you bought months prior, well, I imagine it would be. The amount of looks we get when we step out of the truck is unbelievable, it's almost hilarious but there are times when those looks are just the start to something bad. There was this one drop we had to do that just retarded. I stepped out to see the dude and instantly, there was an undeniable glare of prejudice and despise, he would try and start shit and makes this unnecessarily difficult for us. His yard wasn't finished so there was dirt everywhere and he got mad when he found the smallest speck of dirt on his tiles. Pete was having none of that guy's shit, man. Shit would've gotten real had I not told Pete to get in the truck and let me handle this piece of rotting flesh but all in a day's work I suppose. It's hard to get offended when you know that the chances of ever seeing these people again are as small as growing a third nipple then you're all good but not everyone thinks that far ahead. Too much shit gets thrown about too easily.

Tried to recruit Le Monde and Tai to my little work family, didn't work out as I planned but shit, nothing does :L That's probably the reason why I don't plan. I realized how far I've strayed from everyone today. While I was talking to Tai over the phone, a list went through my head of who could potentially work with me but no one was in my mind in particular and it struck me as strange that I'm pretty much the only one who doesn't study and even stranger that I thought Tai would even consider. I hated myself for even thinking about talking Tai into a full-time job where he could neglect a good amount of his studies so he could quench my yearning for nostalgia at a place where I spend a lot of my day. It struck me as even odder when I realized I could bum at his house whenever I wanted. I'm glad things turned out the way they did though, nothing has changed and everything is the same as it was yesterday. I could sit here for hours and still think of no one who would be keen to do what I do but I guess that's only natural. There's a certain amount of respect I give to those people, people who've actually found a passion and are pursuing it, and I think it's this level of respect that makes me want to avoid them, not because I could do better without their company but because I think leaving them to their own pursuit of happiness is the best thing for me and for them at any given moment.

Questions (Jack LNDN Remix) - Chordashian & Francis Rose

Reverse.

"This washing machine comes with a free white guy. He eats nothing but white bread and drinks nothing but white paint, be sure to clean him once every 4 months and make sure you feed him a lot of swag before he goes nap nap."

- Kevin Le. When I work with people, I like to offer the customers my work partner for the day just to see how they react.

Today must've been like, the fifth time I've tried to give God away to a customer :L I'm starting to think this joke is never going to get old. Spent the day with Troy and talking shit. A lot of shit. So much shit that I can't even remember what the shit comprised of but it was a good day as far as I was concerned. We talked about Troy's life and his plans since he seems to have a lot of them. I remember talking about his high school days with Beau and a little bit about his relationship with his brother, Stevie but when it came to me, I honestly had nothing good to tell him. "I wake up, come here, go home, have a wank, go to bed and then it repeats." was all I could think of but saying that would just be depressing after all the shit he was talking about so I just ignored his question LOL I keep thinking God and Bro (Troy and Beau) are older than me, well they are but not significantly. They're my age but it feels like they're in their 30's. Maybe it's because they seem more mature but then again, my standards for maturity are a little off. I couldn't even talk to him about my love life since I've never had one and that's like, one of the first things people talk about when they get to know each other, it's that or I've been getting to know the wrong people.

Looks like Dante and his girlfriend's family feud cleared up a bit. He doesn't stay over any more, it's weird to transition from having a brother and then suddenly not having a brother a few times a year. I was so used to bumming in each other's rooms and going to maccas at 3am whilst never maintaining a decent conversation. Dante left so now I'm stuck with that random room mate Mumsies threw on me, guess there was no criteria to seem if a person is worthy of staying in this house. I forget he's even there most of the time, it feels like living with a robber that won't fuck off and pays rent. I'm not complaining, Mumsies' always made the right call, should've listened to her from the get-go instead of being such a difficult child. I hope what I'm doing will make up for all the troubles her life has put her through.

Reverse (Steve James Remix) - SomeKindaWonderful

Paris.

"Do you guys have any drugs? I really need them."

- A loony customer who has been through some shit I honestly cannot care about.

Got paired up with Beau, which is something that doesn't happen enough. I love that guy, I still keep a visitor's card we got from delivering a fridge to Brigidine College in wallet, which is kinda creepy but it's like a memento of the rare occasion that I get to go on runs with the Gatton boys and I know they won't stay much longer, they've been here years before I started so I think it's this child-like response that makes me feel like I should remember the people who taught me all I know and what better way to do that than to keep physical memories everywhere you go? It doesn't always work like that, sometimes keeping those things when shit has changed isn't as great as I made it out to be but now I'm just being really, really vague so I'll just end this paragraph here.

Today was weird, man. I got Beau to sing with me which is something you would never expect from him if you had ever had the pleasure of being in his blunt, straight-forward presence. I couldn't hear him though, I was too busy singing La La La with my earphones in but I looked to my right and I saw his lips move to the words I was singing. It felt like I accomplished something in life. I always sing in the truck, regardless if I'm driving or not and I know it's not something everyone wants to hear but it's just one of those things I think would brighten the mood a little more if I did and hey, music is my thing and singing comes with the territory.

Our last drop was a little fucked up though. It was to a lady's house in Chelmer. She tried to drag us in her personal problems and told us she was kicked out of the house, waiting for test results to see if she's even mentally stable, waiting for a case to be solved regarding her being raped and struggling to keep custody of her kids. Beau; being the kind hearted man he is, wanted to help her out but the moment we realized she was a loony, we gapped it so hard. Beau had started the engine and I sprinted down the stairs and into the truck without so much as a "goodbye" We fucked off so fast, you'd think we killed someone. Another wonderful little experience this job brings. I like it, it's so different and exciting. The world always comes up with neat little ways of exposing you to things not everyone gets exposed to when you work for Steve.

It's a nice change of pace being with different people. I just hope that when my mentors leave, it won't be any time soon, as selfish as that sounds.

Paris - Ashton Love

Falling back.

"Hey, that's pretty good!"
- Wally, when I tried to communicate to him through my abo accent because I thought he could understand me better. Because he's abo. I don't think I've ever been so racist now that I think about it.

We got this new guy named Wally working with us. The whole time he's been here, I don't think I've heard a single good thing about this dude. From what I heard, he's weak, anto-social and constantly needs to be told what he needs to, basically a useless fuck and today, the boss paired me together with him. I looked at our run and to be honest, I was excited. We had 6 fridges, 2 of which were 800 liters plus, a bed that weighed about 120kg along with a whole bunch of other stuff. When we loaded that truck, Stevie would give me pointers on how to attack delivering all this stuff if you were alone because you pretty much were when you work with Wally. I don't think I've seen Stevie so concerned and concentrated and he prayed for my safety when we loaded all those fridges but I knew that if I could do this, then I'm capable of what many others are not and if that doesn't shoot your ego through the roof then I don't know what will.

It wasn't as bad as others said it was, maybe I just never notice how much of the work I am doing and just go on and do what needs to be done til the end of the day. That said though, I was a lot more alert than I was on days if I was working with say, Beau, Troy, Stevie, Bob, Brad, Josh, Pete, pretty much anyone else because of all the flak that's been said about him and because of my cautiousness, I too my time which didn't let me go home til 7pm. I feel so disappointed, I know I could've done better even if I was with Wally but man, being the last one to get back to the warehouse when everyone else has already left and all that is waiting for you is the boss who wants to go home more than all of us put together. He assured me that I did a good job and that I'm a valuable asset to his business but it sure doesn't feel that way. 

There's a comfort in knowing that when it comes down to it, you can do more than what you thought you could. I went home a happy but disappointed boy.

Ugh, I need new music. I'm pretty sure the main reason why I've been skipping gym more often is because I've grown tired of listening to the same drops over and over again. Who knew that my music and the rate of that I go gym were directly dependent on each other ? Maybe it's time I use someone else's library instead of constantly struggling to perfect mine.

Falling Back - Cosmic Gate & Eric Lumiere

Shadow of the sun.

"Umm, yes?"
- Kevin Le, when offered sushi. Fuck, that should be the response of anyone who has been offered sushi.

I think I'm going to start bumming at someone's house when I get the chance, something about randomly crashing MyVy's got me thinking that I should really try and keep tabs on people I actually like and thus, this little routine I created for myself has emerged. I can already see that this is going to piss people off eventually

and it's totally going to suck and people will hate me and I totally deserve it but for now; WEEEEEEEEEEE.

Just when I was wondering who to bother this week, Tai hit me up saying if I wasn't busy, I could spend the Queen's Birthday morning with him and play a few matches of Street Fighter 4 with him. I don't think he could time that any better than he did. I locked myself out of the house, waited for Bobby to come over so I could get my keys, headed to Zaraffa's and bought some coffee as a crashing gift and then made my way to the Pham's where we clung on to a few conversations as we ploughed through 50 matches of the one game I like.

Even though I was at Tai's house today, I have no idea what we talked about, I'm not even sure if we even caught up, the last time I saw him was at Hong's birthday party and that was a long motherfucking time ago. You know, at this point, I'm not even sure he was even there, or if I even went to his house but I do know one thing; sushi is the best. Oh, and today was a good day. Thank you, Tai for letting me spend the Queens Birthday doing nothing with you, it was awesome.

Can't say I did much else. I think that once I know I've done at least one thing, the rest of the day is like, optional. And I think I've chosen to do nothing because I actually went somewhere today. I can't be too greedy and constantly want to go places all the time, well, I can but then I'd hate myself and that would be bad.

Shadow Of The Sun (Mako Remix) - Max Elto

Take care.

"I'll join you sometime."

- Dante Le, when I told him I might head to the markets.

I finally got into the habit of sleeping and waking up early, well, earlier. It was really bad back in high school. It was like an average of 4-5 hours of sleep a day, sometimes, it was even less than that. I don't even know why it remained at that pattern for so long. I guess just the idea of being sleep deprived seemed so... romantic. That probably didn't even make sense but that's how it felt to me, that or I just didn't want to spend too much time on something I didn't need much of :L Oh well, it's way too late to think about that kind of stuff now but it's nice to try and remember what you were thinking in the days of yore, I still have no idea how I graduated with an OP of 12.

Dante has work on the days that I don't and I always have work when on the days that he does so we've been talking even less than we originally were, which isn't as bad as it sounds. I think there should be a wide social gap when it comes to brothers. There's probably nothing worse than brothers being in the same circle, at least, in my case there isn't. When I caught him before he left for work and told him about the markets, he said he'll come with on one of the coming weeks, so I gave up on going simply because it'll make the next time more enjoyable. Sounds pretty dumb but you have to cherish the what little time you spend with family. I don't know why but for some strange reason, family time seems to be laughed upon when you hit your 20s. People just seem to assume everyone is independent and that in turn, makes them independent when they couldn't be further from the truth. I like the way things are and wouldn't change it for the world but at the same time, I crave change. Strange, isn't it ?

Take Care (COVER) - Drake & Rihanna

Field trip.

"Wow."

- Kevin Le, when I had to deliver in a medical centre for special people, you know what, I'm not even going to sugar-coat it, It was a place filled with retards.

Even though I got to spend the day working with God/Troy, the only thing that really stuck to me today was the drop we had to deliver on out Ipswich run. The day started like any other, I was keen to work with Troy and he was keen to be rid of my presence since I'm too bright for him, I'm starting to think I'm too bright for anyone there :L The day was going wonderfully, until we pulled up to this building I had never seen in my life. "oh god, I've been here before" remarked God "this place is for -" "retards?" I interrupted jokingly, turns out, it was no joke. We stood in front of a special needs centre and when I walked in, man, it was exactly how I pictured one in my head. I walked in and I could smell the nurses ageing with a hint of despair. There was one kid sitting on a chair in a deranged stature, another kid laughing while rocking back and forth on a bench one side and a person looking at me dead in the soul on the other. I went further to see where the mattresses they ordered were going and I paused because there was another kid sitting on the floor dead centre of the hallway. I've played and watched enough horror games and movies to know that you shouldn't fuck with anyone sitting down in a place they shouldn't be so my instant thought was "fuck this, I'm going home" All while this was happening, God was waiting outside for my report since he knew exactly what was happening. I've always wanted to know what one of those institutions were like and now I know, I was told that this job comes with experiences like that. These guys have delivered to brothels, prisons, mental institutions, hostels and the like and now that I've had my small taste of what it's like to be a delivery boy, I'm getting a little excited.

I had my first encounter with a violent customer today as well, all sorts of shit seems to hit the fan whenever I'm with God :L I called this customer to let him know we were coming an hour early and called him again when we got to his house. Apparently, he didn't get my first call was complained to the store that we only called him when we arrived to his house. This little back and forth eventually led him to swear to me over the phone and when he did, I was baffled and didn't know what to do. I told God that he swore to me and asked him what do I do and that hero took the phone off me and just laid the smack down on his foreign ass. I probably would've gotten fired if he didn't take that phone off me, there's no telling what kind of shit talk I'd conjure up when put on the spot like that.

I learnt a lot today. God taught me how to be firm, to not bend to their will and confidently propose options instead of making it easier to them. There're a lot of little neat tricks to learn and there're not meant to be taught this fast. Troy let me in on a little secret, he told me he's also leaving though it's unsure when so he wants to leave the company in more capable hands, this company is going to fail when he leaves and he knows it so passing on what he knows is something he feels he has to do, at least, that's what I think, what's really going through his head is something only God knows. hahahah, get it ? because he's God. Oh man, I made a funny.

So yeah, today, I went to the place people think I belong, got sworn at by a complete stranger and became a messiah of God's teachings. A very, very eventful day if I do say so myself. The problem now is to find out what there is to do tomorrow.... Another job doesn't sound too bad at the moment.

 Field Trip (0 to 100 Remix) - Dumfoundead/PARKER

The sun is back.

"This might be, the best day in my entire life."

- Kevin Le, whilst eating KFC after a long day.

"Me too."

- Yoshi

Yoshi isn't going to be staying for much longer. Apparently, he landed a job to help build an airport somewhere nearby, $35 an hour. I'm happy for him, I truly am and I'm sure everyone else is too but man did it leave a sour taste in my mouth all day. It was a stupidly busy day, delivered 3 truckloads of Harvey Norman stuff, you'd think that the end of the financial year, people would ease up a little but nope, if anything, they splurged the fuck out of their expenses, honestly, who the fuck spends $4400 on a TV? I'll never understand these people but then again, that's the joy of this job. You wonder why they do the things they do but it doesn't matter because you're only there for about 3 minutes and the chances are, you'll never see them again in your entire life and to me, that's beautiful.

I milked what I could from my last day with Yoshi, we never spoke about the fact that it was one of his last days working with us, we just kinda went along as we usually would. The day felt long and normally, that's something I would find a bother but it wasn't too bad when I knew that I would never get the pleasure of working with this extremely blunt individual, I kinda wished the day was longer. Our last drop was to a house in the middle of a small crater/valley that required the use of a subtle forest path to get to, a house in the middle of no where with the luxurious necessities, like a workshop, shed, livestock and what have you, which then followed a trip to KFC where we indulged in our humanly desires. It wasn't the quality of the food we had but doing what we just did, it honestly felt like an angel came down and threw faeces at all of our problems, it didn't fix them but they sure were a lot easier to face. I said my goodbyes and went on my way. I never know what to say in situations like that, and they seem to be happening more and more often. It's almost like I run away from having to give closure due to my unmature, childlike impulse of not wanting to give in to change to easily but I suppose we all have to grow up one of these days.

I got home, wept a little and made my way to the gym where I proceeded to make some immense gains, there's a little rant I would like to impose on you about all that but I think I'll save it for a later date. This post seems to be focused on losing a workmate anyhow.

The Sun Is Back - Simonsays